Monday, December 31, 2018

I Might Be a Little Stubborn

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Jordan is an amazing trainer.  He has helped me love the gym.  He has supported my keto lifestyle.  He has encouraged me when the scale did not move. He has celebrated with me when it did.  He has put my focus on inches, body fat % and clothing changes and less on the scale.  

Jordan has been wanting me to increase the protein in my diet for over 6 months.  This is to help support where I am in my training sessions.   My stubborn self said (in my head), what I am doing is working so just keep doing what you are doing.  To him, I just said that is not keto.  Thank God he is patient with me.  

My progress has slowed over the last few months and in November the body fat % went up.  Stubborn Kim just kept doing what she had been doing.  Jordan set a goal for the end of December to break my mental scale number.  He told me if I increased my protein a little, we would see results.  What did I do??? Stubborn Kim, kept doing what I had been doing.   

We are close to the end of December.  Will I break that number? Maybe, it will be close but not close enough.  I wanted to KILL that number.  That won't happen.  If I had listened and done what Jordan said, I would have killed it. 

So stubborn Kim has a choice to make.  Keep doing what you are doing or listen to Jordan.  

Saturday night, I made the decision to do what Jordan wants me to.  I changed the settings on my carb manager to show the protein levels he wants, the carbs I want, and will adjust the calories with fat consumption.  I will still be doing keto, with a slight adjustment.  

JORDAN YOU WIN!!!!!!!!! 

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Sunday, December 30, 2018

The Struggle is Real: It is a Mental Fight

I love my keto lifestye.  However, my progress has slowed and I am at a crucial number on the scale.  It is a physical number but it is SOOO much more.  See every time I get close to this number, I self sabotage myself.  It happened in November, I just stopped tracking and did not do as many cardio' s as I should.   Excuses started to creep back in.  Not as many as before, but just enough to stall (not stall - slow down) the progress.  

See until this point, I knew that this always happened but I never shared it with anyone.  First I told Scott, see he loves me no matter what and is very safe.  My secret can stay in my house and no one but us has to know.  Funny how Satan starts to halt progress that way - SECRETS!!!!!!!  Then I put on my brave pants and told Jordan.  Now that is scary because it is no longer just in my house.  It is now out there with someone who can help me break the mental barrier.  He set a goal to break this physical number by the end of December.  Right after 4 Christmas', 1 birthday and New Years.  REALLY!!!!  I was just hoping to maintain over December.  NOPE - He said we are doing this over December.  That meant I had to be spot on with my eating, tracking and macros.   I had to do my extra workout each week.  I had to get my cardio's in.  For Jordan, it is all about habits.  And he is right.  I had a habit of self sabotage and it needs to be broken.  So we developed a December plan.  Jordan made me screen shot my planner each night and send it to him.  I even forgot one night and he sent me a screen shot my planner and told me to not forget dinner.  See I shared access with him in my tracker and he can look anytime and see what I have eaten in my Carb Manager app.  I have gotten in most of my cardio's.  But the one part of this plan we disagreed on - PROTEIN!  He has been working on me increasing this for 6 months.  Did I do it in December - sorta, but not really.  (That's a post for another day)

Am I going to break that physical number???  It will be close. See I had to lose about 3-4 lbs in December and that is HARD where I am in my transformation and my age.   I find out officially on Friday.  Will I be devastated and give up because I did not reach the goal.  NO!!!  As I have learned in this past year, adjust and move forward.  Look at the data and then do what Jordan tells me to fix it.  Do what he has been telling me to do for 6 months.  

The struggle is real!
The fight is hard!
The results are worth it!

Friday, December 28, 2018

1 Year with Jordan

Yesterday, December 27, 2018, marked one year of me working out with Jordan.  

WOW!!!  I don't even recognize the me I used to be both physically and mentally.  

December 2017
December 2018
I hate tracking my food.
Tracking gets me results.
Nobody will notice if I cheat.
This is a lifestyle and I will stick to the plan.
Change sucks.
I get excited about the change in workouts.
I hate to exercise.
I love to exercise.
Scott asks Kim to go workout, Kim says YES – Scott is surprised.
Scott asks Kim to go workout, Kim says No – Scott is surprised.
I hate shopping for new clothes.
Scott tells me to stop buying myself new clothes. 
I don’t stick to any food or exercise program.
1 year of keto and working out on a regular basis.
I hide my true personality behind the fat.
I found me! 
Plan trips around where we will eat.
Plan trips around where we can get more movement in.
My favorite treats are cookies, candy, cheesecake, and puffy Cheetos.
My favorite treats are blackberries, strawberries and cookie dough fat bombs. 
I ate my stress with very unhealthy foods. 
I ball slam my stress at the gym. 
I eat sugar daily.
I have not had sugar in 1 year.
I can exercise on a recumbent bike for 5 -15 minutes.
I can exercise on an elliptical for 45 minutes or do a 3:1 HiiT for 30 minutes or a 1:1 HiiT for 10 minutes. 
I set health goals and do not follow through. 
I set health goals and meet them.
I bought personal training sessions knowing when I gave up Scott could use them.
I have been working out with Jordan, my personal trainer, for 1 year.
Gave excuses for not working out.
Workout even when I am exhausted or injured.
No time No Exercise
I plan my days and weeks around my workout schedules. 
Held a grudge for the amount of time Scott spent at the gym. 
Now we work out together. 
Size 22 Jean
Size 8 jean
Rolled my eyes at Scott when he talked about the successes in the gym.
Now we are watching each other’s successes.
Did not understand what Scott was doing in the gym.
I can now correct his form. 
Hated exercise.
Asked for exercise clothes and workout tools for Christmas and Birthday. 
I can’t ……..
I can’t yet, but give me a month and I will be able to.
You want me to do WHAT?!
Bring it on!!!!!!!!
If I’m in pain – you’re fired.
I tell Jordan if I am in pain and we adjust and keep moving forward

Friday, December 21, 2018

2019 Word of the Year: Empower

Every November 1, I begin praying for God to give me a word that will help guide and direct my (or sometimes give meaning to) journey for the upcoming year.  Normally this takes a long time of prayer, scripture reading and silence. This year was very different. I started praying for the word on November 1 and had the word within 5 days, but did not know it at the time.  It was my Assistant Principal, now Principal, telling me something school related. She was empowering me to do something. I did not make the connection at the time. Then in my quiet time, a scripture, Ephesians 3:16, kept popping in my mind - still no connection made.  I guess I was a little slow to put the two together or possibly to accept it. Ok, I'm not that slow, it was only 4 days. But where I was (spiritually, mentally and physically) at the beginning of November, that was an eternity.

So a little back story. I had only met my then assistant principal shortly before she said this. In fact, when I first met her, there was a leap in my spirit and God clearly saying, I told I would take care of this. But trust had not been established at this point. I was praying for a word from the Lord and for a resolution to a major situation in my work life. It took a few days before I realized that God spoke the word through her. That had never happened to me before. Usually, the word pops in my head and won't go away. This time the scripture popped in my head and would not go away. Then I put the two together.

When I finally realized it - I did not know what it meant or how it would apply to my life. That day a FB post showed up with the word with lots of possible applications of the word Empower. So no idea where this is headed, but am looking forward to the journey.

Here we go!  

2019 Word of the Year

Ephesians 3:16

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Faith - Word of the Year 2018

When I received FAITH as my word for 2018, I was nervous - actually really nervous. See the year before the word the Lord gave me was change and boy did many things changed that year. It was such a challenging year. I was hoping God would give me something a little easier. 

FAITH - I was thinking oh boy - God must want to strengthen my faith and that does not sound fun. That means challenges, hardships but it also means joy and answered prayers (both yes and no). Each year I pray for the word for the year. I see it as conformation when a scripture comes with it. Matthew 21:21 became my scripture for the year.

I wrote this last year not knowing what would come.

“I am not sure what the mountain(s) will be this year, but after last year I know God's Got This!!! God is stirring something in me. I do not know what it is, but I feel the stirring in my soul. God is preparing me for something and I have to just follow the course until He reveals the "mountain".”

In reflection of this past year, there were three major mountains that that were moved this year: “mountain”, negativity in myself, my health.

One “mountain”, I really can not specifically speak to. This “mountain” challenged many areas in my life and almost made me leave something I truly cherish. I felt at times like the weight of this "mountain" would crush me. I kept remembering how God had brought me through the year of change and kept saying “God’s got this!” But I could also see that it was taking a major toll on my health during 2017. The hard part throughout the year was I did not know if God would move this "mountain" or change this "mountain" or move me away from the "mountain". 

I could also see that this "mountain" was changing me - not in a good way. 

Bad attitude - my second mountain

I had become extremely negative about the situation and allowed that to spill over into all areas of my life. My attitude did not make the situation any easier, in fact it caused me to dwell on it more than I needed to. I thought I was venting, but in reality all I was doing was griping about the situation. Then I heard a speaker over the summer say that the only thing I could only control was how I reacted to it. I also heard that I had to stop sharing the negativity all over the place. I had heard that all my life in church and was not hearing how this applied to this situation. But this was at a teacher conference speaking about school climate. OUCH!!! When God wants to step on your toes, He can do it anywhere. I think He caught me off guard, because I did not think I would hear a word from Him there. On that day, with a dear friend of mine helping me, I put a plan in place to deal with this mountain of negativity. I was not perfect in following the plan, but when I slipped, my friend was there to help bring me back. And guess what, I found my positivity again. Just let me say that the “mountain” and my attitude were moved in ways that only God can move it. 

My third mountain was my health. On my birthday, I stepped on the scale and saw a number I had never seen before. It was scary and I was miserable, tired and stressed. So I went to the gym that day. You know in preparation for the New Year's resolution I would make for 2018 - get healthy. How many times had I done something like that before. I went into the gym knowing that in a few weeks (maybe a month) I would quit and I would be back in the same place I was. In hindsight - I did not have faith in myself that I could stay the course and get healthy. I knew I needed help, so I talked to Adam at the gym. I made a very impulsive decision to buy some training sessions - by were they are expensive. But I knew that “when” I gave up, Scott could use them, so I bought them. I told Adam the I had one rule - If I am in pain, you’re fired. He did not flinch and said I have just the guy for you, Jordan, and set me up to meet with him the very next day. I told Jordan the exact same thing - If I am in pain, you’re fired. He was gentle with me as we worked through what my definition of pain was. Jordan has since told me one thing he had to help me work through was my fear of pain. Smart young man to be so perceptive of where I was. I also told him I did not get fat overnight so I will not get healthy overnight. This was marathon, not a sprint. We need to do this in a way that is right for my body. I also told him I was doing Keto. He told me about Carb Manager. Most trainers don’t like keto - but he took it in stride. He has challenged me in so many ways. I have found out that I am a LOT stronger than I think. I met with him two times a week - every Monday and Wednesday right after school - in fact a year later, still every Monday and Wednesday right after school. When I would have an extremely stressful day, he taught me physical ways to release the stress. Let’s just say ball slams are one of my favorite things!!!!!!!! I did them a LOT!!!!!!!!!! But guess what - I did not eat my stress, I slammed it to the ground. YET became my word. He would have me do an exercise and I was horrible at it or I was not able to do it (mentally or physically)- I would say, I can’t do that YET and we would work toward me being about to do it. When I severely sprained my ankle, he adjusted what we were doing so that I could keep moving forward and not quit. I grew to love working out and he even now calls me a gym rat and an athlete. When he made me take a week off exercise, the first few days were fine (right after school got out in May), but then I got ancey. I thought I was going to crawl right out of my skin not being able to workout. I was so thankful to be back in the gym after that. One hour sessions became one of my favorite things over the summer. I don’t do them often because of finances, but I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!! November was a little challenging for me. I knew something but had never shared it with Jordan. I finally revealed a mental challenge to him recently. There is a number on the scale that everytime I get close to it, I self sabotage and gain weight. I have done this for YEARS. I only recently shared it with Scott because I did not want to admit I was doing it to myself. I had done it AGAIN in November. I had a few “cheat” days, didn’t track my food daily, when I did track - not always honest with it and even snuck a few things in (puffy cheetos) without tracking. My December weigh in showed the “fruits of my labor”. I DID IT AGAIN!!!!! GRRRRR!!!! See this is more of a mental challenge. But now he knows about it. He is closely monitoring what I am eating and working me harder in our sessions and ones I have to do on my own. We are hoping to break that number this month - or as Jordan would say, We are GOING to break it this month. 

Faith - I believed, I obeyed, I prayed
My three mountains were thrown into the sea!!!

Thank you God!!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

The Scale Will Not Define Me

So yesterday, Monday, was the day that I met with my trainer. The end of the month. That means weigh in day (My rule not his). Usually that day is very happy. I’ve lost so many pounds and inches and everything's going great. However, I’ve noticed that my clothes aren’t shrinking as quickly as they were before. So I really wondered what that scale was going to say. Well let’s just say I was not very pleased with what I saw on that scale.   I had lost only .2 pounds.    For the whole month..... For all the work that I’ve done…. For all the tracking…. For all the cardio…. For all lifting….. For all the training sessions with Jordan….  All I lost was .2 pounds.   GRRRRRRR!!!!!    FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!

So what am I going to do about it today? NOTHING!!!!! I am going to do the same thing I did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.   I’m going to stay the course. Keto stalls are normal - not fun, very frustrating - but normal.   But was it really a stall?  It was a scale stall, but was it really a stall.  See I have a scale that also measures body fat % and muscle %.  This data point is a little more telling.  I lost 2.7 % fat and gained 1.9% muscle in the last 6 weeks.  Staying the course seems like the right thing to do. 

Hind sight is 20:20  RIGHT?!?!?!?   

Reflection is something I do on a regular basis.  Take all the data I have and give a really hard look at what I did during the last month. 

I did make some dietary changes. I stop drinking my meal replacement shake at lunch, and started eating real food. The main reason for doing that is that I am not getting enough green leafy vegetables or  other veggies in.   Plus eating as much real food as possible is always better. 
Does that has something to do with the scale stall, maybe? But maybe not.  I really doubt it! I really won’t know until I have to stayed the course and continue doing what I am doing.

There is another BIG thing that is going on.  It’s the end of the school year and my most stressful time of year. Stress takes a really bad toll on your body.   It can be a real scale staller.  Now the good news is that I am not stress eating.  My diet and macros are right where there they need to be.  Except my trainer wants me to up my protein.  Working on that Jordan.  Add to that, increased stress on my body through exercise.  This is good stress, but it is stress.   That is OK but just knowing that I’ve added work and exercise stress is an important piece of data.

So I will keep the course.  I will do some minor adjustments that my trainer wants me to do with my cardio.   He has been talking to me about it for a while, now it is time to implement.  Not something I really want to do, but it is time.  

If we have a scale stall next month, then Jordan will help me break through it. Until then, I'll keep doing what I have been doing.  

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Day of Rest

I was convicted a few years ago about having a complete day of rest.  Since that time, I have tried to dedicate Sunday as that day.  For a year, it got interrupted by something God called Scott and I to do.  It was both had and wonderful all at the same time.  I loved working with the kids (ok they are not kids, but I have known some of them since they were babies - so they will always be kids to me).  It was hard to give up the day of rest a couple of times a month.  But I felt God called us to do this so I knew it was the right thing.  After the year, I felt God told me to stop, so I did. 

Day of Rest for me consists of calm morning, church, SAMS run (it is right next to church) and then home and not leave or really do much.  I read, blog, listen to music, watch a movie - basically nothing.  Many times I sit in a quiet house and am just still and listen.  It is amazing how often God speaks to us when we are still.  

Now to last weekend.  We had the marriage retreat plus a special even for my mother and father in love.  It meant that I did not get to work out on Friday.  I really missed it.  Off and on all Friday and Saturday I kept thinking that since I could not go Friday, I could go on Sunday.  Every time the words Day of Rest popped into my head.  On Sunday,  I needed to catch up on my bible reading, so I layed in bed and just read.  FIVE different places I was reading mentioned Day of Rest or that Jesus or God rested.  Then during communion at church, I read in two more places where God or Jesus rested or commanded people to rest.

OK GOD I GET IT!!!!!!!  

I NEED TO REST!!!!!!!  
I WILL OBEY!!!!!!!

It was almost comical, 7 times God put those verses right in front of me.  So what did I do, I rested!!!!  Thank You God for helping me keep my priorities in line.  

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

It's All About Choice

It has been a VERY rough day. Schedule changes, indoor recess AGAIN, class not at their best today and my trainer is sick so no session today. My stress level is through the roof. It would be so easy to go to home get in my PJ's and eat everything in site.

I have a choice to make (well I have already made it). I choose to go to the gym anyway. I choose to do the arm exercises my trainer sent me. I choose to do a cardio after. I choose to eat healthy today. I choose to let today go and be ready for tomorrow. It is all about choice.

>>>> Update>>>>>
I went to the gym and did 45 minute of cardio.  I asked for help in how to work a specific machine that Jordan sent in a video for me to use.  Adam (works at Texas Family Fitness) was kind enough to show me where it was and how to use it.  Then one of the other members showed me how to hook up the next exercise.  I knew how to do that one, just did not know how to hook up the equipment.  Then I did the last exercise.  The planks I did at home.  I am so proud of myself.  

Hard to believe that it has only been 7 weeks since I started this journey.  Funny how God works.  I needed to be at the gym today because my thighs were still hurting from Monday's leg day - specifically the walking lunges.  For the first time I reached pain.  The place I always quit.  I knew I would go to the gym today because Jordan was expecting me, but he was sick and not there so it would have been soooo easy to not go.  No one would know except me.  "Not today!  I am tired and I need to let my legs rest.  It would have been the first step towards quitting.  I don't want to quit, I want to get stronger.  

God, thank you for showing me that I am mentally stronger than I think.  It would have been easy to quit, but with Your strength, I am strong enough to overcome and work through the mental weakness and physical pain.  I choose to get healthy and stronger.  

It's all about choice!

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Trying it VS Lifestyle

In December, I bought a specific amount of training sessions. These would equal about 3 months if I go 2 times a week.  So yesterday, I went and checked to see how many sessions I had left and look at the price to continue using Jordan longer.  Well the price went up and was going up more in March quite a bit.  Scott and I needed to have a budget meeting to see if we could swing it.  If I sign up for monthly I would lock into a better rate, but we have to do this before Wednesday.  

I knew spending this much per month would be hard for Scott to agree with.  I told him how much and that I would like to continue and then just let him think about it before we talked about it.  I knew this would take some time.  BOY WAS I WRONG!  He took 4 month to decide on a refrigerator.  This decision took less than 2 hours of thought.  He said yes, no discussion needed.  He knew I was headed in the right health direction and that I needed help and support this to continue.  

I JUST SIGNED UP FOR MONTH TO MONTH TRAINING SESSIONS!!!  This is really becoming a lifestyle change for me.  

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Workout - It's Becoming a Lifestyle

Friday Night was the start of my churches marriage conference.  It is something I always look forward to.  I love spending dedicated time to that wonderful man I have been married to for 25 years.  

I have to leave school, come home and change and fix dinner for Scott and I.  There is no time tonight to go to they gym.  I texted Jordan my trainer, "  I don't know who I am anymore.  I actually missed being able to go to the gym today - I really wanted to go.  But no time with the marriage retreat."
He replied, " .... You're doing amazing so keep at it!  You're now part of the "addicted to the gym crowd   Welcome to the club"

My lifestyle has completely changed.  I change into my workout clothes at school and drive straight to the gym.  I work out and then go home.  It is getting to the point that I do not even think about it, I just do it.  I am watching for the "newness" to wear off, but I really enjoy going so hopefully it will not.  

Monday, January 1, 2018



God has wasted no time in stepping on my toes in 2018. God put on my heart this devotional, Made to Crave, a few months ago. I even joined the plan on my Youversion Bible app. However, I never started it. God kept tugging on my heart over and over. Well this morning, I started it.
Well God had a message for me today, in more ways than one. This one stepped on my toes and hurt quite a bit.

"I had to get honest enough to admit that I relied on food more than I relied on God. I craved food more than I craved God.
Chocolate was my comfort and deliver. Cookies were my reward. Salty chips were my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness and even in happiness" ~ Lisa Tykhurst, Made to Crave 21 day Devotional Plan, Youversion Bible app.
My word for the year is FAITH! God is already getting started!!!!!1 Ready or not here we go!!!!!!!

Word of the Year: FAITH

Each year I pray for God to give me a word that will help guide, focus and draw me back to His plan for my life.

Last year, the word was "change".  The scripture was Isaiah 64:8 talking about that He is the potter and we are the clay.  Change was good, bad and hard throughout the year and there were a BUNCH of BIG changes all throughout the year.  In fact it became almost comical every time a big change occurred.  However, I took comfort in knowing he was molding me into his image.  

This year, the word came to me early in December.  The word scared me as much as change did last year.  That word could go in so many different directions.  


I had to wait a little longer for Him to give me the scripture to go with it.   When it came was both comforted and scared about the year to come.  You see, when God puts as many "changes" in your life as He did in mine last year, you begin to get a little nervous.

The scripture was Matthew 21:21 Jesus replied, Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.  

I am not sure what the mountain(s) will be this year, but after last year I know God's Got This!!!  God is stirring something in me.  I do not know what it is, but I feel the stirring in my soul.    God is preparing me for something and I have to just follow the course until He reveals the "mountain".