On October 1, one month ago today, I began a new journey. It is a journey to get healthy both physically but more importantly, spiritually!!!!!! WOW!!!! It has been an amazing month. I still have many challenges on both ends, but I know I am so much closer to God and am listening to him more and more each day! This journey all started in a Weight Watchers meeting and someone mentioning a book called Made to Crave. She was beginning a bible study on craving God more than food.
This really struck a note with me and gave me a stirring in my spirit.
Now to this point in my weight gain process, (not loss) I knew I needed to lose weight but did not have the strength or want to enough to stick with it more than one day. Something else was always taking priority over my time and my drive to do what needed to be done. I had developed a food addiction. I needed that bean burrito or French fries or ice cream or cheese. It was calling to me day and night. I went to bed thinking of food and woke thinking of food. I truly craved food more than I craved God. I used it as a drug to fill to calm me when I was stressed, comfort me when I was sad, frustrated or angry, fill me when I was lonely, blind me when I felt guilty for eating bad stuff, it was my companion when I was bored.
The problem with this kind of god – is no one ever talks about it. There are lots of plans out there to try to help you lose weight, but I had never found anything that truly addressed the real problem – a much deeper problem than I had ever realized – my food addiction and weight were a spiritual problem not just a physical problem.
Well back to Oct. 1 and that stirring in my spirit. I now realize God was calling out to me. I went home, fixed breakfast – a healthy one (I always cook a healthy breakfast after a Weight Watchers Meeting). Then I grabbed our nook color and looked up the book. I downloaded it immediately and sat down and read the introduction and then the first two chapters. Then I began to listen to the prodding’s of God and my new journey has begun.
This month has not been easy, food is everywhere. I have to eat it for nourishment. I am learning, still learning – it is a daily battle – sometimes minute by minute battle. But my God is bigger than food, He is my portion, He is my strength. I am also learning that the Bible has A LOT of food references in it. I am learning to put scripture in my mind and heart and that God will help me through this process. I am learning to be healthy – spiritually and physically.
With God’s help the beginning of my journey has been successful. I did not say easy. I have had to retrain my mind in so many areas. I have quoted “All things are permissible but not all things are beneficial” so many time I think it is really a part of who I am now. I have had to deny myself some things – I have enough points – but it is not healthy for me. If it is a food that I crave or that gives me comfort, I am choosing to deny myself of it for a time and rely on God for that comfort. Satan has attacked me in so many ways. Difficult times, a hurt child, a sick family member, many events that have food and pushers trying to get me to eat, a baby shower where I am a hostess and serving punch, Halloween, a Kindergarten teachers convention – just to name a few. God has been so faithful though it all. He has wrapped his arms around me and given me comport and peace. He has been my portion, when I needed him. He has sent scripture to my mind and heart – just when I needed it.
I finished reading the book and was praying where God wanted me to go next, he clearly said read it again. He also said, “I’m not finished with you yet.”
I am almost finished reading it a second time. I already know what God is leading me to read next, but I have to wait until this is finished reading this a second time – self control!!!!! However, I am so excited and eagerly wait to see where he is guiding me. He is also calling me to be public about my struggle so that it may bless others that are suffering in silence. Food is something we had to have to survive. It is all around us. I am so grateful that God has opened my eyes, softened my heart and guided my path so clearly this last month. I have a long way to go and many more things to learn. The road will not always be easy, but with His strength, I will be successful and He will be glorified.