Wednesday, October 26, 2011

God's strength

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For where I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“God’s power is made perfect in weakness. This stirs my heart. Weakness is hard, but weakness does not have to mean defeat. It is my opportunity to experience God’s power firsthand. …….. Resisting temptation allowed promise upon promise to be built up in my heart, and that create empowerment. This is God’s power working through my weakness. ……….The struggle to say no may be painful in the moment, but it is working out something magnificent within us. “ Made to Crave, Lysa Tirkeurst

Boy I felt that power yesterday. I stuck to my plan at the baby shower. But that is not all – it was a stressful type day with a meeting before school, a meeting during planning, a student observer, a student with a birthday and that means cupcakes, and then the baby shower. And as if that were not enough for one day – I was hungry all day. It gave me the opportunity to pray a lot. I was not sure why I was hungry – but I was. I really was not craving anything – just hungry. So I prayed, and then I prayed some more and then I prayed some more. Sometimes my prayers were frustration – God why do I have to be hungry – TODAY! This is too hard, or sadness and tears – why does this have to be so hard. However, at the end – there was rejoicing. God with YOUR help, I did it. YOU kept me strong, YOU reminded me of your blessings, YOU allowed me to share YOUR greatness to a friend, YOU are wonderful and strong in my weakness. It was a difficult day, but a wonderful day. I know I will have more days like this, but I know in my weakness – your power is made perfect.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Amazing week

It has been an amazing week. I finished reading Made to Crave by Lysa Tirkrurst. It is a fabulous book. It is transforming my relationship with food. I was praying and asking God to lead me to what I should read next. His voice was clear as a bell, “Read it again, I am not through with you yet.” I do not hear God’s voice that clear often – so when I do, I listen. Then that evening, I got a call from a family member saying that they may have a life changing situation occurring. I cannot share who or what yet – as it is not my story to tell. Needless to say this rocked my world. I am a stress and emotional eater. After finding out this information, I felt so hungry. I wanted to eat and not healthy stuff. I have learned that I need to rely on God and not food to manage my stress and emotions. This is a struggle for me and I am glad God told me to re-read this book. I prayed for strength and was able **** that I was hungry but not for food, for comfort. God wrapped his arms around me and gave me peace. I have a lot more learning to do and with His guidance, I will thrive and give Him all the glory.

On a food note, my goals the past two weeks were:
1. Cook every night or for every night
2. Exercise 3 times for 30 minutes each week
3. Pack my lunch every day and eat only what I brought
4. Track everything
5. Make a plan for traveling to KTOT

I did pretty well this week and I lost 5.6 lbs over the last two weeks.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

KTOT - First test

This past weekend, I attended a kindergarten teacher's conference (KTOT).  I knew it would be a fast, fun and food event if I allowed it to be.  One thing I have learned in weight watchers is to plan.  There would be some places I would go that I would have no control over, but I did have control over my choices at that place.

I went for a walk with Scott, and verbally planned out my trip.  Here is what we came up with:
*  Take a sack lunch for the drive up there so I did not have to eat fast food on the way.
*  Dinner - grilled chicken, rice/ potato, steamed veggie or salad
* At breakfast, eat oatmeal if I could and fresh fruit.  If not, a scrambled egg with fruit.
*  Lunch - boxed lunch provided by hotel for conference - eat sandwich, trade out chips (or whatever else was in there) for my baked cheetos I had brought, don't eat cookie
*Dinner - Make best possible choice where we stoped.
*  I packed apples, carrot slices, cheese sticks and wheat thins for snacks during the weekend.

I did not follow the plan exactly but was proud of most of my choices.

Lunch - we got to the hotel early and ate there - fabulous lunch with a chicken and rice soup filled with broth, white chicken chunks, veggies and I ate a salad,  I also ate two rolls.

Dinner - we went mexican food - I ate chips and salsa, but I counted my chips and wrote them down.  I ate grilled chicken, rice and about 1/4 c. refried beans.

Breakfast - followed my plan.

Lunch - Followed plan except I at the cookie

Dinner - made good choice of a sandwhich with turkey and cheese and baked chips.  I also bought fudge to take home to the boys - I should have put it in the trunk.  I ate some of it before we made it back.

All in all - Pretty good weekend.  I followed my plan for the most part.  I had exercise points and WPA's for anything extra I ate.  The key revolution was that I made the plan, wrote it down, took it with me and it made food choices easier.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Lesson Learned - Check first

We had teacher in-service today, that means we get a long (1.5 hours) lunch.  This does not happen often - so we always enjoy the treat.  My team decided to go to Jason's Deli.  I ordered a club lite, baked chips and fresh fruit. I looked up later the points- the club light has 12 points - WOW!!!!!!!  Went into this weeks WPA's for that one.  That is a place my team likes to frequent.  Before the next trip - I will decide ahead of time what I will order and know the points - or just bring my lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 3, 2011

What A Day!!!!!!!

James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Permission to laugh at my day is granted. It is so crazy it is funny – frustrating – but funny!
Background to what lead to today:

I have dealt with my weight for a long time. This weekend I went to my regular weight watchers meeting. One I have attended while still gaining weight – not weight watchers fault – I just did not follow the plan. When I got there – someone was sitting in my seat! The nerve – I have been here for years and that is my chair - lol. Well I sat in a different spot, near a friend named Angela. Before the meeting began, she shared with me a new bible study she had started based on the book Made to Crave. It is about craving God more than food.

I got home from the meeting and could not get that out of my head, but I also could not remember the name of book. I facebooked her and she got it to me very quickly. I ordered it on my nook and began reading the introduction. It really began working on my heart and spirit. Then I read the first few chapters. I finally realized that my weight issue is more than a food issue – it is a spiritual issue. I crave food more than I crave God. WOW! Not something I wanted to admit.
Now to today! This has been day filled with frustration, revelation and laughter.

I woke up this morning – STARVING! I mean stomach growling and hurting. I prayed hard for God to help me crave Him more than I crave food. This is where the frustrating yet humorous day begins.

* I went in and got my cup of coffee and took it into the office to begin working on a report I needed that day. I spilled my entire cup of hot coffee all over myself. I had never done that before.

* I changed clothes, and went to make my oatmeal. I had the bowl in my hand and went back into my bedroom for something. I sat it on top of the TV so I could pick up something and it fell and spilled all over the floor.

* I went back into kitchen, determined to stick to my plan for the day and made another bowl of oatmeal. While it was cooking, I took my rolling cart out to my car. When I went out the front door, my lunch fell out to the cart on over the ground (Picture me running down the sidewalk chasing my apples).

* I come back in and eat my oatmeal and a peach. I am still HUNGRY! I look at Scott and say Satan is trying his best to break me today. As soon as I recognize the attack – I am no longer hungry – in fact I am completely satisfied! Thank you God!

* At lunch, I open my frozen dinner and the flat bread is mushy – really mushy! I HATE mushy anything. I decide I am going to eat it anyway!

* I take it back to my classroom. I take a big bite and almost gag! There are two flatbread dinners – chicken that I love and steak I detest! I had grabbed the steak this morning by mistake. In the past, I would have gone down and gotten chicken rings and mashed potatoes. All I need is fuel for my body and so I choke it down.

It has been clear to me all day that Satan is trying to make me put my focus on food and not God. What is so awesome is that I have been filled with scripture and praise songs all day. I have smiled more than I have in a while!

Through the day I still had cravings or desires for food. Each time I would pray for more strength. Each time it was given.

What is in the picture for tomorrow? I do not know, but it will start with a prayer for God to help me crave Him More than I crave food.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Saturday, Day one of this journery Refections and success

Sept. 2011
Sunday, October 02, 2011

I went to my weigh in at weight watchers yesterday and I knew it would not be good. How could it be? I ate breakfast burritos from sonic 2 times. Monday, I cooked. - that is a start. Tuesday - dollar burger night at sonic - about to change, Wednesday - BBQ take out, Thursday, after 4 hours at ER with son, Taco Bell, Friday, wheat thins, strawberries, string cheese. Lunches were weight watchers frozen dinners. I think we also went out for hot fudge sundea's two times. Needless to say - I did not work the weight watchers plan. I did the kim watchers plan and that one always gains weight.

I know something has to change. I am 42 years old. I have been flirting with 200 lbs for a while. I can barely walk without getting winded. I can get on the floor but getting up is getting very difficult. I can no longer sing and dance with my kindergarteners without getting very winded. This is not living to my fullest potential - it is survival and not a good one at that. My cholesterol is high and I am pre-diabetic.

Enough beating myself up. Change begins NOW!
I attend a weight watchers meeting at 7:00 a.m. on Saturday. I love these wonderful people. I admitted yesterday that I had gained back everything I had lost plus some. I set two reasonable goals for this week. 1. Cook everynight 2. Track everyday. Well I changed #1 just a little - cook for everynight. That is exactly what I did yesterday. I made 5 meals that are either in the freezer or refridgerator. Here is what we are having this week: refried bean casserole, bbq chicken, salsa chicken, onion soup burgers, taco soup and hot dogs (will grill on the day we eat them). All points are calculated and all we have to do is heat them up and add veggies. That way if something comes up (like the ER this week), food is prepared and we do not have to eat out.

As for tracking what I have eaten. Saturday is done! YEA ME!

Saturday is date night for my husband and myself. Last night we went to Cheddars. I ate healthier choices, calculated the points to the best of my ability and wrote it down. Then I suggested we go for a walk at the park where we first met. I was very winded at a pretty slow pace- but we walked for 30 minutes. This was a first for me - I hate exercise with a passion. I know I need to do this so I am just going to "suck it up" (phrase from 15 year old son) and do it. I need to get healthy and yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life and the new beginning of my journey.

I joined Dr. Oz's transformation Nation and now have that resouse as well.

Everything is permissable' - but not everything is beneficial" (1 Corinthians 10:23) This is a scripture I found yesterday in my new bible study. It really spoke to me. I can have a donut, count the points, track it and go on - however, is it beneficial to my my health and goals in life - NO! So I don't need to eat it.

Off to a great Sunday!

Here I go again

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Transformation Nation: This is so exciting. I love weight watchers and I love Dr. Oz. Nothing better than combining the two.

The sad thing for me is that I have been going to weight watchers meetings and gaining weight. Not weight watchers fault because even though I have been attending the meetings I have not been following the plan. As a result - GAIN!
I really want this time to be different. I want to be healthy. Along the path this time, I am also reading a new book: Born to Crave. It is time to look at my relationship with food from a spirtual perspective. I know what to do - Now I need to want to do it. My prayer will be for God to give me the want to in order to make the neccessary changes in my life.

This will not be easy - I LOVE FOOD! There I said it - I love UNHEALTHY FOOD. I LOVE PROCESSED FOODS. I LOVE SWEETS - cakes, cheesecakes, cookies, donuts. These foods give me a temporary satisfaction. Now I need to break this unhealthy relationship with foods. I am worth it!